I asked my husband what was the greatest asset he thought he could provide for our two sons besides a solid spiritual foundation. It was a significant question for me because true to his form, I knew my husband’s answer would be impactful and full of generational implications that would immortalize his message and have the potential of becoming a cultural adage for fathers and sons. He has said more than once that in this country, as a whole, Black men don’t own property, or produce product and therefore Black men have no power. It’s through no fault of their own he emphasizes. But the reality of this country’s injustices can be emotionally crippling standing on its own merit.
My husband elaborated that what a man believes about himself despite imposed societal characterizations, what he’s able to create in his mind, build with his hands, and demonstrate to his family, specifically his sons, is a power far greater than obtaining wealth. He would say,
“What a man has in his back pocket doesn’t determine his worth.”
The lessons my husband taught our sons as boys, empowered them as men to withstand obstacles with dignity and honor. “Character,” my husband often says, “when built on the foundation of morality and conscience, is stable and unchangeable.”
My husband was [and still is] present and available to our sons and to me. He is the king of his castle and he has never abdicated his throne. In the great quest of both genders for more power, liberation and success, we must be careful not to oppress or forsake one another. In our marriage we have never sought to be what we could never be – and that is equal. A woman is the perfect balance for her man, and a man is the perfect balance for his woman. It is the sum of man and woman that is equality.